Photo last year around this time by Veronica Reeve
It’s Friday– the wild card day of the week– so rather than sharing a DIY or home post, I’m getting a little more thoughtful and personal. I’ll get back to home progress and how-to’s next week, but for now, I hope you’ll indulge me as I share a little something that has been on my mind as of late.
Judgment is part of human nature. It’s difficult not to look at others and pick at the flaws rather than their beauty. I’m not proud to admit I have looked at someone more beautiful, more talented than I, or better at one thing or another, and I’ve been jealous. I’ve minimized their successes by focusing on their flaws to justify my own insecurities. When I was a little girl, I would try very hard to look at everyone and think of at least one thing I liked about them. I would say to myself “what do I see that I like?” I could always find not just one thing, but many things, and as a result, it made me like that person more and made my jealousy melt away.
Jealousy. It’s a word no one really likes to own up to. It can turn its ugly head in an instant and I believe it’s the root of most of our unhappiness and problems. Who wants to admit to being a jealous person? But all of us have felt it from time to time, and certainly felt someone’s dislike because they are jealous of you. As I continue to watch my beautiful little girl grow, I have also watched her toddler self go after a toy she was uninterested in moments before just because another child picked it up. While this is normal and natural behavior, I never want her to feel less or small or hurt because someone else has something she doesn’t. So, how as a mother do I combat those strong feelings? I am going to make a conscious effort to teach her to see the things she likes first. “See that girl,” I see my future self saying. “What do you see that you like about her? She has such beautiful hair. She has a glowing smile. She is smart, and is the best in the class at math.” No discounts about those admirable qualities to make them seem less significant. Only sincerity.
I do not pretend to think that this simple question will solve all feelings of envy, but I do think the mind is the most powerful tool and force for good (or bad) we have. And I believe we can see the world, and others, however we want to.
It’s not just Ruby who I hope to have this talk with. I hope to have it daily with myself. I want to be humble enough and kind enough and smart enough to admire the strengths of others; to learn from them. I want to see what I like, instead of the things I do not. And I want to be the kind of person others can see what they like in as well.
Happy weekend, friends.